My Father

As I sit here thinking about what to write I have so many thoughts that pass through my mind. My dad was 70 when he passed away. He was a man of great integrity, honesty, wisdom and objectivity to name just a few of his great qualities. He loved his family, his country and God. He would have done anything for all three. My dad had a great smile. There are not many photos of him wearing that smile, but when you saw it you never forgot it. He could light a room with it. I remember his smile so well that it is like I saw it this morning.

Hard to believe that one year ago today he passed away. In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. I can remember every detail of that day. I often replay it in my mind and wonder what I could have done differently. In the end I am just honored that I could spend the last few hours of his life with him.

In other ways it is so hard to believe it has only been a year. It seems like forever ago that I talked to him. To this day, I find myself thinking about things I want to tell him and ask him. You would think after a year this would fade, but it doesn't. I still feel like that little kid wanting that one hug, wanting to hear him call me buck-a-roo or bug, but those words and arms never appear.

Although we miss him terribly we know that he is in a better place. He died of a broken heart. My parents had a great love and my dad's grief after my mom passed was heart breaking. I still believe this. So although selfishly I want them here with me, I am glad that he has been reunited with my mom and they are looking down on us from above.

This has been a year of great growth for me. Learning to function through life without 2 of your greatest supporters has been very hard. When it comes down to it your parents are truly the only ones that love you unconditionally. No strings attached. Not having that "safety net" of comfort has been an adjustment. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband, great kids and pretty good brothers:)